Weight Loss & "Confidence Clarity"

What Is Major Weight Loss?

In my personal opinion and in the opinion of many medical professionals, major weight loss is anything over 50 lbs. Some medical professionals don't even believe someone can lose upwards of 50 lbs. without serious medical intervention.

I know people who have undergone major weight loss surgery, both gastric bypass and lap band, as well as  people who have had other doctor-monitored procedures like colonics, appetite suppressants, liquid diets, etc. I also have seen people, and know from personal experience, that you can lose a significant amount of weight with good, old-fashioned diet and exercise (my preferred method and recommendation).

However, regardless of how one goes about their major weight loss "journey," I want to address some of the mental and emotional life shifts that take place. One of my favorite weight loss channels on YouTube is BeautifulBrwnBabyDol. She's a living natural major weight loss success story with inspirational videos that focus particularly on self-esteem and what I call "confidence clarity."

What Is "Confidence Clarity?"

I think people need clarity before they can build. With clarification comes acknowledgement that is necessary in order for us to address and overcome obstacles. I emphasize on "clarity" because the process of clarification guides us to the specific root upon which confidence has grown. If one finds their confidence is built upon shaky foundation, they will also be able to realize and acknowledge exactly where they are lacking in confidence as well. There, at the core, is where positive and sustaining new confidences are rebuilt.

For instance, at my heaviest, which was well over 300 lbs., I was confident in my appearance. I considered myself attractive and nobody could tell me I wasn't setting it off, because I was. I made the choice to stick with weight loss because I wanted to be healthier and more active. However in terms of looks, I felt it was obvious that I was a big chick and any man I was involved with was obviously into big women. However, once I started seriously losing weight (the first 50 lbs.), I started to feel less confident about my appearance.

According to Dictionary.com, confidence is defined as

1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing

2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance

As I continued to go down in sizes, it became clear to me that my confidence was really a faux-confidence, based on fashion, my sense of style, my make-up, my hair, or being seen as "pretty for a big girl" or a "big beautiful woman." When I no longer had my excessive weight to use as a crutch, I had to gain a new sense of self-confidence in my appearance that was based only on what I thought of myself.

I had to rebuild my confidence with the overstanding that it doesn't matter if I'm a big woman or a thick woman, average, slim, or petite. I'm a beautiful person who cannot be defined by any category or body type. I came to that realization by gaining more clarity. I had to think about what makes me a beautiful person. I had to think about what I liked about myself. Sometimes I had to write it down. I'd make lists about the things I loved about myself, from the physical to the mental, from spiritual to material. I learned to define myself alone.

Confidence is the most important quality a person can have. When someone's confidence is weak or vulnerable in one area, it can trickle into other areas. We must continuously build it up. It's like a muscle and it needs to be as strong as possible because it informs so many of our life choices on levels that are conscious, subconscious, and unconscious.

I still have confidence issues when it comes to sizes and I'm always working on that. Mentally, I overstand everything about the fashion industry that makes sizing inconsistent, from country and region to vanity, fit & cut, from designer to buyer. I know size is irrelevant. However, as someone who has undergone and continues to undergo major weight loss, I'm also in a continuous state of buying new clothes to accommodate my changing body. This is an ongoing and frustrating process. While old clothes no longer fit, new clothing raises its own challenges, as I find myself between sizes more times than not.

Plus V. Straight

Due to my ridiculously curvy pear shape, I will more than likely find myself shopping from straight stores. This is also due to my personal style, as I wear more dresses and skirts than I do trousers, slacks, pants, or jeans. Plus size tops, dresses and skirts are likely to be too big, of an uncomplimentary cut and an overall waste of my money. However, I fall among the largest sizes that straight stores offer, which presents a gamble in itself, especially when shopping online. I can never be sure whether or not any particular garment will be too snug or sold out altogether (most women fall between sizes 12-18).

Moment of Size Clarity

Even when straight sizes fit perfectly, I'd often find myself too busy being shocked that it fit to actually enjoy the garment. Most times I would only wear the item(s) once, immediately after their purchase, and then avoid wearing them thereafter because I was too scared they might no longer fit. Despite my weight and measurements remaining consistent or decreasing, and there being no logical reason why the clothes wouldn't fit, I'd still stubbornly disregard these facts. Instead, I'd continue to entertain the old "Fatty Mentality" that told me "there's no way a size 14 skirt from The Gap fits me."

Clearly, the skirt symbolizes something more powerful at its root than clothes, style, or fashion. There is still part of me that is allowing my confidence to lean on my body, size, and weight. In clarifying, I was able to shift focus away from the skirt and confront the deeper fear:

"At any moment, I'm going to balloon up to 300+ lbs. again."

My avoidance to wear a garment in a new and unfamiliar smaller size revealed my inner lack of trust in self. I was unable to believe I could keep off the weight. I lacked confidence in my abilities.

New Perspective. New Foundation.

There's a ton of mental, psychological, emotional work that goes into major weight loss. When weight loss occurs naturally, all those changes are happening at the same time. I believe that in order for anyone to really make changes, one needs to be able to get the heart of their issue. I recommend natural weight loss because deeper issues tend to be overlooked with surgical procedures, pills, and shakes, etc., as they focus primarily on weight alone. Many lap band patients don't lose a single pound and many gastric bypass recipients regain the weight and then some. Even those who are able to maintain their weight loss often transfer their disorder from overeating to something else, like drug, alcohol, or sex addiction. Perhaps this happens because rapid weight loss doesn't allow time for one to gain clarity and truly overcome their hindrances. Instead, they just lost the weight, which is merely a symptom to a grander issue that is guaranteed to show its face again.

I didn't balloon up overnight and I sure didn't lose weight overnight, either. My weight gains and losses are manifestations of my behaviors, regardless of which stores I shop or what size I'm wearing on any given day.  I know that how I define and mold myself is my choice alone. So, as long as I have confidence in my intentions and actions, I have nothing to dread, fear or doubt.

Fat Rant of the Day: Lane Bryant is Bullshit.

Ample women of the world - Wake up!

Lane Bryant is bullshit. Their sizes are an inconsistent mind-boggling trap. Their pants never fit, unless of course, they're too big or too small. Unless of course, by "fit" they mean "ill-fit."

I used to think it was me. It had to be, right? It's my darn hips and these chunky ass thighs. Then I started to ask myself, "Why do the skirts fit?" "Why do the shirts fit?" And then I realized that they didn’t either! Their skirts, their smallest size skirts (14/16), are too large on me. Many, not all, but many of their smallest shirts (14/16) literally hang off my body. So, please explain to me how it is that their pants never fit me? Why must I paint them on and war with them just to get them up past my knees? However, I can't seem to wear their 18/20 leggings more than two times without them drooping at the waist and crotch because they are too large.

I admit to having lost a substantial amount of weight recently; however this sizing issue has always been part of my Lane Bryant shopping experience. As if the subpar quality of their overpriced, unoriginal revamped generic trends wasn't bad enough, Lane Bryant shoppers also have to consider the additional hassle of alterations? This is what compelled me to stop shopping at Lane Bryant altogether over a year ago. I'll still stop in every now and then to browse the clearance section, and I'm not surprised to see nothing has changed.

Ladies, their prices are robbing you blind. Macy's, Nordstrom, and Bloomingdales won't swindle you. Do some price comparisons before you jump at the next Real Woman Dollars scam. Do you really need a closet full of clothes every other plus size woman has? I have to ask myself what's really going on when I can't fit into a single pair of Lane Bryant jeans, yet I can walk into Bloomingdales and have my pick of size 16s and 18s. Perhaps it's the designers selling at Bloomingdales who are doing the vanity sizing? Perhaps indeed. But they fit. At Lane Bryant, it doesn't matter if I pick up a size 16 or a size 26 - They. Never. Fit.

I've seen women shopping at Lane Bryant who are smaller than I am. How can that be, when I wear tops from H&M, Urban Outfitters, GAP, LOFT, etc? I can go into Nordstrom and fit most of their mainstream Large tops? Please note that I wrote "Large." I did not write "XL" or "XXL."

I'm not here to say I'm small. I am not. I am very much full-figured and plus-size. Many more mainstream stores are making exceptions. Many of today's trends and designers are more versatile. Today's silhouettes are more forgiving. Still, Lane Bryant's sizes have been consistently inconsistent. At their best, they sacrifice fit for unflattering designs; all for the sake of a vast, inclusive customer base. At their worst, their sizing contradictions are leave customers in a state of confusion, frustration, and even shame.

Lane Bryant was a demagogue of plus size apparel. However, the fatshionista movement is only getting started. It’s time for us to surrender to the new sheriffs in town. Research online, shop, browse, try things on (!), compare prices, originality, quality, etc. I know many women who are still trapped serving yesteryear's apparel god, but trust me, there are far better options right under your noses.

Okay, Jennifer...

Why do I have to say anything else?

(I'll be back.)

Fat Rant of the Day: Where's Kate Mulleavy's Plus Line ?

Looks like someone's a self-hating oppressor.

Boo on you, Kate. Booooo.......

Fat Rant of the Day: Too Much Sleevelessness !

Note to Designers: Kindly, make more dresses with 3/4 length sleeves.

We don't want to wear a shirt under your dress or a shrug over it. We just wanna put on a cute dress and hit the streets like everyone else. We don't deserve the burden of having to coordinate multiple layers over your gorgeous design just so we can cover our flabby arms, which also, incidentally, covers your DRESS!

Designers who make more sleeveless plus size clothes than sleeved must admit to their laziness and/or ineptitude. They obviously must not know how to design flattering sleeves that complement all/most sizes and shapes, so they simply rip them off the dress maiden and fashion them as legwarmers for their junior line.

Fact is, many of us with fat arms don't wish to expose them, and most people (fat or thin) don't want to see fat arms exposed.

Fix it!

Shop NOW: ASOS CURVE

You like fashion? You GOT FASHION!

ASOS is the U.K.'s "hottest online fashion store" and it's finally made its way to the U.S.! Now we can rock London's edgy street style and Britain's most sought-after trends with FREE SHIPPING, both ways!

ASOS CURVE offers a collection of plus size pieces ranges from size 16 to 22. And you certainly won't have to worry about having the same clothes as all the other fat chicks, like you do when you shop at some other places.

Here are just four pieces from the website to give you a taste:

HURRY & BUY!

What else would a vest be, but SLEEVELESS?

FAIL

j i b r i

It's official: Plus size fashion is here to stay!

I just stumbled upon Atlanta designer Jasmine Elder's website and label, JIBRI. Her designs are modern, chic, and urban with the right amount of coverage and silhouettes that accentuate plus size assets.

It's too bad none of her clothes are sold in NYC. Her Fall 2010 collection embodies the very aesthetic city fatshionistas like me are looking for. Fortunately, JIBRI is sold at other boutiques throughout the U.S. and online. You should check it out!

Look @ LOOKVILLE.COM

Shout out to Daphne @ Lookville.com for putting me on! It's basically the Twitter of fashion. It's not primarily fatty-oriented, but such is life. Besides, it's about time we all join forces to create one united fashion galaxy, especially as more and more prominent fashion designers continue to reach out to the plus market.

I just joined. You should too.

Dear Google-Stalker, Who Exactly Do You Think You Are???!?!??

Really, Google-Stalker?

(i.e. "Sponsored Links")

REALLY?

I mean, I appreciate your concern and interest in my fashion needs, but if you're going to track my trends, could they at least be... I don't know, trendy?

Apparently, this is who you think I am.

Some stalker you are, Google.

*Note: I neither condemn nor condone this site or its use of fabric, which is why I have neglected to provide a link or mention its name. If you really want it, I'm sure you can figure it out yourself.

My morning with Nolé

After a swim and OA meeting, I was probably looking a hot mess when I ran into fashion editor and stylist Nolé Marin at Gristedes this morning. But since stumbling across a friendly neighbor / fashionisto in the UES isn't a regular occurrence for me, I ballsed up and asked him his thoughts on the plus market and whether or not he believed it was ever going to get its fair shake of real coverage in the fashion industry.

"It's not," he told me, plainly. "I wish I could lie to you and tell you it's going to change."

What can I say? Homeboy was honest. That is, until he graciously "guessed" I was a size 20. You just have to love a man who knows how and when to give a girl a compliment.

"It's unfortunate," Nolé said as a fellow shopper passed us in the produce aisle. He nodded at her, adding, "See, she's a size 16. The average woman is nowhere near a size 2 or 4. She's a 14, 16, 18. Even 20, 22, 24 is the standard now, but [the industry] isn't going to change... They're selling the fantasy."

In all honesty, I love the fantasy. I only recently took down the pictures on my wall from Versace's last ad campaign featuring Kate and Giselle. My concern, which I shared with Marin, isn't that I necessarily want to see overweight women on the runway or in the magazines. What matters more to me is having equal accessibility to the same high quality, high fashion as women who are half my size.

It wasn't a complete bitchfest though. While cruising the meats section, Nolé did share one little interesting tidbit with me: Apparently he's been working with a team on a super secret new shopping website due to launch in upcoming months. And according to Marin, us fationistas are "going to love it."

I'm already giddy in my girdle with anticipation! Stay tuned...


P.S. Looking for a model workshop? Check out: www.nolemarin.com

Reality Programming like MTV's The City are changing the magazine business

MTV's The City (starring The Hills' Whitney Port) is an extremely important reality show that changes the face of fashion, fashion magazines, television, and advertising. The show is essentially placing advertisements/endorsements right on the screen.

Magazines run by their ad sales. Magazines have been in the toilet, losing more and more money each year. They don't get the ads, they don't get the money - and if they don't get the right ads, they lose their demographic and the magazine merges into something completely different from its original premise and following. There's a reason Vogue is Vogue. There's a reason we find D&G ads in Vogue and Skecher ads in InTouch magazine. (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Why are advertisers backing away from what used to be their bread and butter? Because no body's reading magazines anymore, subscriptions are down. People are on the computer reading blogs and visiting direct websites. And what else are these people doing? Watching TV.

So in The City we see Elle accessories editor and socialite Olivia Palermo searching for styling options for a trends segment for the TODAY show. She dashes into an uber-stylish chain boutique in Soho called MANGO. And how do I know this? Because the information is provided on the screen: MANGO. SOHO.

Now I know everything for a proper Google search, don't I?
fashion mango soho = www.mangoshop.com


Lo and behold, the storefront from the show! It really is real and now I must stop by because it was on MTV and TODAY and it's even been featured in Elle Magazine! It's cool, it's chic, and most importantly, if I go to the store I'll be living the show!

But wait. We're getting ahead of ourselves. Aren't reality shows fake?




Yes, reality shows are fake; especially if it's created by Liz Gateley. Ms. Liz brought us Laguna Beach, The Hills, and now The City. Each show uses its geographic landscape as the through line of the show. Laguna Beach wasn't about teens; it was about these teens in Laguna Beach. Luckily most of the series was shot on beaches and in people's homes. It wasn't until The Hills that location became an issue. Remember, it isn't about young women trying to make a name for themselves (right?), it's about young women in the Hollywood Hills of Los Angeles, deliberately and diabolically making names for themselves. That means they have to go to clubs, clubs, more clubs! And that means getting permits, permits, more permits. And that requires planning. And staging.

And, The City isn't just about women in their twenties, it's about women in New York City who love and live fashion. If I know anything about New York, it's that location is everything but it won't get you everywhere. So if I were a 'lil chain boutique in SOHO/NYC, I'd realize it's in my best interest to allow someone to use my store as a location for their hit MTV reality show so long as they reference the name and its awesome location. Then magically, a conversation that would normally have never been seen or recorded by anyone is seen by millions, and MANGO/SOHO has it all: 1) a daytime segment (TODAY), 2) a shout out on prime time reaching your exact demographic, and 3) featured in Elle Magazine.


Advertising and publicizing aren't the only ones making deals. Fashion icon Kelly Cutrone gets free press for her PR/Branding agency People's Revolution. Meanwhile, aspiring designers Port and Lauren Conrad got support and publicity behind their collections.

For some reason, reality programming remains a largely disrespected genre. Yet The City has all but replaced the fashion magazine with our TV monitors and it's redefining how we get our fashion. Stay Tuned.

My Review of Lace Patterned Tights

Originally submitted at Avenue.com

• Lace details on inside and outside legs.
• Nylon.
• Machine wash.
• USA.
• Sizes: 1X-6X.

Lace Patterned Tights

Snags galore!

By mindycare from New York, NY on 11/24/2009

 

1out of 5

Sizing: Feels too large

Cons: Runs/Snags Easily, Tears Easily, Don't Stay In Place, Wears Quickly

Best Uses: Everyday, Cool Weather, Office, Formal Occasions

Describe Yourself: Style Driven

When tights, leggings, or stocking tear too easily, I automatically wonder if I got them too small. This was not the case with these tights. If anything, they were too large but they still snagged and tore, particularly in the crotch - all in the first wear! I take great care of my tights and can usually hold on to them for quite a while. I can only assume these particular tights were of very poor quality.

(legalese)

Letter to Kelly Cutrone

Hi People's Revolution!

My name is Ally Davenport and I'm a real fat fashionista with an opinion about the future of the plus size fashion industry. I think it's time for everyone to start seriously considering reaching out to the plus market. There's a ton of money out there to be made. The average size woman no longer applies to most of what the mainstream industry has to offer. Should fashion downgrade itself to appease what they consider to be those "less desirable," hence less worthy of their vision? Of course not. But brand expansion is good business. The average woman is a size 12-14 in the U.S. and she's saving a lot of money NOT BUYING because she feels isolated.

I happen to spend money because I know what I like and how to find it. That's the type of attitude that has me writing to you at 5:00 AM when I could just as easily be sleeping or bitching about it on my blog. I think it's time for People's Revolution to reach out to the plus market. Helping them to expand on their branding ultimately helps you. I should see Lane Bryant, Torrid, Ashley Stewart, Avenue, Monif C., Evan's, Igigi, Missphit, Anna Scholz, Donna Ricco, Kiyonna, etc. publicized and advertising in Elle, Vogue, Glamour, InStyle, W, Cosmopolitan, Nylon, MarieClaire, Lucky, and more. The plus market is expanding, but it remains a largely untapped resource. There's so much revenue out there just waiting to flood throughout the industry. Why shouldn't People's Revolution be part of it?

So, who am I? Really, I'm just a fat chic who loves clothes. I love fashion and I'm tired of reading and researching a market that doesn't relate to me. But it's not just about me. There's millions of us out there waiting, we just happen to be spending most of our shopping time in Target because they've actually taken the time to include us in their ad campaigns; albeit not as much as they probably should be. Many "fationistas" like myself know there's a delightful plus shop inside Saks, Bloomie's, Neiman's, etc., but we're less prone to shop there because, for what ever reason, they wish to keep the majority of us unaware of what they have to offer. We have just as much money to spend as a size 0, and if they want to cash in they better start telling us, directly, that they're selling what we're buying. Any good business person can see the good sense/cents in that.

Do you know there's a pathetic plus size fashion week in New York? It's very new and very un-fabulous at the moment. Sure, there are designers whose aesthetic caters to the plus market. Sure, their work deserves to be showcased. But what about the rest of it; the stylists, publicists, advertisers, marketing, branding? Once again, this is an untapped resource just begging for the opportunity to make a lot of people a lot of money.

I love fashion and I would thoroughly enjoy sharing more of my ideas with People's Revolution, esoteric as they may be. I know a little about online marketing and publicizing, and a lot more about writing, research, and development. I would love to work for a company like People's Revolution, but I also want to play an integral part in the revolution of the plus market. This is where all my skill sets coincide with my personal insight and passion. The plus market will explode a lot sooner than many industry people believe. Wouldn't you like to be among the first?

Don’t even think about it….

You know at the wedding reception you see that older woman in her mid to late fifties dancing like a floozy with a made up face like Tammy Fay Baker and wearing that dress that just doesn’t look quite right? You might be thinking, “I can’t believe that old lady’s got a beer belly” or “maybe her girdle is too tight…” or “Does Aunt Gladys always keeps a spare Purdue fryer hidden in her party dress?” No matter what your thinking we’ve all seen her and she’s wearing this dress right here.

This Alex Evenings Cascade Mesh Dress with a ruche and wrapped surplice bodice is absolutely hideous. It unnecessarily widens your mid-section and makes you look like you’re wearing armor. Nordstrom is currently selling this gem along with a number of other Alex Evenings formal wear, Not all as bad as this. Alex Evenings has a thing about surplice and wrapped bodices. For some women this may look great but for others, it tends to widen the mid-section just like this dress does. Personally I feel like no woman should be purchasing this dress unless she’s dressing up for Halloween as the Tammy Fay Baker lady from the wedding reception or a Cougar out to capture young pubescent meat!
Consider yourself warned now go out there and find something fabulous!

MAXED OUT ON MAXIS!

ENOUGH ALREADY!

This is starting to remind me of the poncho craze, circa 2004.

Yes, we fat girls love length. The longer the better! We want the hem dragging the ground lest the world be exposed to our canckles…

(I’m FUCKING WITH YOU!)

The maxi dress is “in” right now. I get it. It’s trendy. I’ve got a few of my own. I just think we need to draw the line at some point. These friggin’ dresses are everywhere!

5 Reasons to Stop Wearing Maxi Dresses NOW

#1 Everybody knows what you’re doing…

… as in hiding. The maxi dress is one step evolved from the muumuu. The thigh coverage… the floral patterns… Did you really think you were fooling somebody?

#2 Everybody’s rocking it!

Sure, since we’ve been inundated by them this season, you probably won’t run into somebody else at the party wearing your same exact dress. But still… it’s just too many chicks out on the street jocking your same exact style. Don’t you want to be fashionably unique?

#3 Designers are getting over big time!

It takes work to design a beautiful dress. I’m not hating on the skill. But I have to point out that it’s not exactly innovative to regurgitate the same pattern again and again and again just because you know people are buying it.

#4 Where are my sleeves?

Most of the maxi dresses I see out there are sleeveless. Some are even strapless. Of course there are plenty of plus size women who don’t mind bearing their upper flesh and they deserve clothes that represent them. But what about the rest of us? The majority of the time, we end up layering with a shrug or a scarf. (Refer to #1)

Some people might think including sleeves is too much damn fabric. Well I say, “Figure it out!” Isn’t it the designer’s job to find a way to make me look and feel beautiful, chic, and comfortable? (Refer to #3)

#5 What are you gonna do when the fad is over?

Make curtains? I think not.

Do you know how many ponchos I've had to throw away?

Don't let what happened to me happen to you.

JUST SAY NO!

I dare you to Wear: White

My friend and I were recently invited to a white party for a mutual friend’s birthday. The idea was a little daunting at first because lets face it, as sexy plus girls we don’t run out everyday and purchase the color white. We’ve been told by many sources that darker colors make us look slimmer and therefore we should wear them because heaven knows we don’t want to appear any bigger than we are. I’m here to crush that conditioning and give you a new way to look at white. Let’s not be afraid of the white it's just the hype :P

White is such a crisp, fresh, and invigorating color and it can be pair with so many other colors it’s a necessity for any wardrobe, that is unless you’re into Goth… not that there’s anything wrong with that. But seriously who doesn’t love color and/or feeling crisp and invigorating? As I have a general love and affection for the plus girl I wouldn’t advise you to run out into the world wearing just any old white. There are some rules we must adhere too. I feel that your pieces should fit your figure and be complementary to your shape. With that said, let’s go over some wearing white DO’S and DONT’S for a plus girl to wear white and still look and feel luxuriously sexy.

Do: Rock a long white tunic with an accent belt in a darker color, this way your waist is accentuated and there’s a break in the white. Also, for those of you that don’t have an hourglass figure you can create the illusion of one! This look is always great with a darker bottom so that your white doesn’t look excessively busy.

Don’t: Run around town with dingy and discolored whites. You should always put your best foot forward and that includes looking your best. How can you feel invigorated with dingy whites? If you need some assistance in brightening the whites you currently own Rit makes a product called color remover. It’s wonderful if for brightening whites. Don’t used this product however if your whites have other colors in them; for those try rit’s, color brightener.

Do: Wear a sold BRIGHT color with a sexy WHITE pencil skirt. This skirt is great especially for the plus girl with wonderful curves and thunderous thighs. The skirt makes everything looks smooth and together. Pencil skirts are excellent for encasing wobbly bits and making your behind look luscious! Some high to low heeled shoes also make for an excellent combination with this type of skirt because you want you behind to appear perkier and your calves accentuated. Some great color suggestions are hot pink, royal blue, Kelley green, and turquoise/ teal!

Don’t: Be afraid to wear white pants. Things get dirty, that’s life. Bright white pants are good in the summer and off white or cream is best in the winter.

Do: Wear a vest or halter vest with a white shirt or tank to give a slimming silhouette to your waistline. You can see in the photos to the right that these ladies have paired a tank with a vest. This halter vest pictured allows for more white to come shining through in the back. This styling looks great with a pencil skirt, white trousers, or dark denim for a more casual Friday look.

Don’t: Forget that in most cases the silhouette of your undergarments can be seen through your white attire. So make sure you wear the appropriate colors. If you’re going for something subtle and business friendly, wear beige (nude), black, or white. If you want your sexy lingerie to POP, wear a bright color that complements or brings some attention to your outfit… or maybe just attention to your underlings!

Do: Purchase yourself some casual and everyday white shirts in styles that complement your shape. There are a number of different necklines to take advantage of and it’s nice to have some everyday tops to look crisp at the summer cook-out or outdoor concert. Below is a cool look that’s easy to put together and doesn’t look like you slaved all day to look good. Just a plain white shirt, it can be long or short sleeved with a pair of dark denim and an accent belt for some extra pizzazz.

Do: Find an oversized white men’s button up shirt and pair it with some sexy leggings, an accent belt and a brightly colored bra to create a comfortable shopping look. The belt brings your waist in and gives the illusion or silhouette of an hour glass. With this look make sure you have a couple buttons un-done to reveal a little cleave… men love to see us make their clothes sexy!
I hope we’ve all learned something today. Don’t be afraid of the great white. I’ve added some photos below of some other white pieces. Take notes on the shape and choose what’s best for you.

Happy Shopping!

I have something to say to Beth Ditto...

I appreciate the effort.

Yes, I have a little bit of an obsession with Ditto, but I feel that it’s for all the wrong reasons. She’s the only truly plus size celebrity actively committed to being true to herself and fat-fashion-fabulous. Far too many times we see plus size celebrities miraculously melt to half their size upon fame and recognition.

I applaud Ditto for having the guts to stay fat. She could easily acquire a trainer and a chef and transform herself to fit Hollywood’s and the fashion industry’s standards. But she won’t do it. And she has the balls to say, If designers don’t want to make clothes that are my size, I’ll make my own!

So, yes. I appreciate the effort. But, unfortunately, I find myself underwhelmed by her collection. I have to say, I’m holding a little bit of my breath waiting for the next installment. I realize everybody’s got to start somewhere. And there are plenty of fatties who would be into the clothes Ditto has out there now. I’m just waiting for her to extend her brand and be a bit more versatile.

Seriously, outside of rock stars and hipsters, who really wants to wear this shit?

The Purple Sequin Dress.
I guess it's OK for those cocktail events where you want to walk around in a shiny, unflattering potato sack. I'm just trying to figure out exactly which plus size physique this is supposed to flatter.

The Poplin Batwing Parka.
Yes, a practical piece. This is clearly intended for neither rock stars nor hipsters. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if Ditto plagorized this piece from one of the designers for Roaman's Coat Shop. To tell you the truth, you'd probably be better off shopping over there.

The Face Knit Dress.
I have to say, out of these 4 featured items this is my favorite. Not that that's saying much. It's just a little too '80s for my liking. And, I hate to say it but, it kinda gives me a throwback feel to one of those oversize Venezia sweatshirts from back in the day. By now designers should know you can't solve a fat girl's problems with one ginormous shirt; which is basically what this is.

The Blue All-in-One Jumpsuit.
I mean, it's just ugly. I don't know one fat chick who could or should attempt to pull this off. If you are anything beyond a U.S. 14, my advice is that you not go there.

What’s worse that all this is there’s no room for mixing and matching, which is something all designers need in their collections. I can only imagine the innumerable number of events I could attend and find one or more fatties wearing my Face Knit Dress! Ditto’s bold designs definitely make a statement, but throwing in a really good jean wouldn’t hurt, Miss Beth.

These are by far my top worst pieces among the collection. Feel free to check out the less offensive items, available for purchase at Evans.

Also check out this handy International Clothing Size Converter.

Happy shopping!

How BIG Are Our Icons, Really?

The Dove ladies. I would say these women are in the 6-10 range.

Kate Dillon. Size 14.

Mia Tyler. Size 14.

Emme. Size 12.

Crystal Renn. Size 14.

Anna Nicole Smith during her Lane Bryant model days. Size 12.

Jill Scott. Size 14.

Queen Latifah. Size 14.

Jennifer Hudson. Size 12.

Marilyn Monroe. Size 16 back in her day - probably 10/12 today.

Beth Ditto. Size 24!

Whitney Thompson. Size 8.

Toccara Jones. Size fluctuates between 8-18.

Mo'Nique. Size 16.

Places to Find Luxuriously Sexy Attire

Alright ladies, lets get down to brass tacks. Places to shop for REAL voluptuous women are in limited supply but things have gotten a lot better than they used to be. The days of us being pushed to wear brightly colored over-sized sweat shirts with stirrup leggings are over. Today we celebrate our fat because after all, it wasn’t easy to gain and if the therapists are correct there’s some type of mental worry behind it, and with all that thinking, worrying, and depression nothings better than a party to show off how hard we’ve worked! Today l’m going to highlight some awesome places to shop for celebrating your voluptuousness and making you feel luxuriously sexy. I like that; I’m going to say it again… luxuriously sexy. To kick things off we’ll start with…

Nordstrom Plus-size Shop:
Nordstrom has an excellent plus-size selection. It’s nothing like what it used to be ladies. There are actually lots of pieces for the luxuriously sexy woman. They also have a number of beautiful casual dresses. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “I don’t gots no Nordstrom money,” but you do! Nordstrom has a number of excellent sales throughout the year. If you’re worried about prices you can compare their clearance section to purchasing something full price at any other lower end store. Don’t limit yourself, after all there’s nothing worse than looking over and seeing another fat lady in the same outfit you have on.

Torrid:
I know that at times Torrid has a young gothic look but if you can sift through their love for twilight then you’ll find the sexy. I realize that our readers with a little more age may desire something a little more sophisticated but they shouldn’t rule out torrid just because its target generation is younger. This store carries a number of great every day pieces. One of the things I like the most is that the tops are usually longer and cover your bum and that loveable pouch most of us carry in the front. They also carry their own line of luxuriously sexy shoes, that you can match with an outfit right there in the store! I don’t know about you, but I hate running around looking for a pair of shoes that may not fit because they are for a narrow foot.

Old Navy:
It sucks that Old Navy has taken their plus sized clothing out of the store but don’t let that stop you from shopping and looking luxuriously sexy. Old Navy online has an excellent selection of casual everyday wear. Their summer dresses are always fun and flirty! There are a few pluses to online shopping here because you can’t find the clothing in stores there are plenty of opportunities for people to not be wearing the same outfit as you, you can find similar items to what your skinny friend have that you think are cute and you generally don’t have to worry about going to the store and not finding that top you wanted so bad. Old Navy’s clothing usual is true to size but for the jeans you may want to go up one size especially if the jeans have a narrower thigh width and don’t stretch. Another cool note is that in store they carry XXL and you can find a few tops that may fit right in the store. Don’t be afraid to tryout some of their maternity tops as well.

Avenue:
The Avenue as made a number of advances in becoming luxuriously sexy. Although you can find a few potato sack items lurking in the far corners, there are still a number of items you can find toyou’re your beautiful figure. In this store like any other don’t be afraid to try things on; after all you’ll never know what’s sexy on you unless you do. Things on hangers can be very deceiving. Avenue also carries a line of shoes in store and online; making them excellent for one-stop shopping especially for those last minute events.

OneStopPlus.com:
Here is another online only shopping venue. This site carries a number of items you may have missed in the stores named above. I guess you can say they are the overstock.com of plus size shopping. You can find a number of really awesome ready-for-work pieces. For those of you with rubenesque boyfriends this is also a good place to shop for him. Although they may not have the most up to date items their selection is extremely diverse and offers you the opportunity to find that dress you just may have missed last season. They also offer shoes and accessories which is always a plus!


Lane Bryant:
Lane has been our old faithful for many years, what would we do without her? LB has given us luxuriously sexy style for many years now and I would say has provided example for many stores and shopping venues that have emerged over the years. You can find everything in store and online in styles that go from business casual to cook-out friendly. Their lingerie selection and style is reasonably diverse with extended sizes available online. We all know how to find one, there’s one within about 25 miles of you.

Target:
Lets all give Target their fair share of come-uppins. They have really tried and in most cases succeeded in dressing the plus size woman. They even carry a foundation line called Assets to keep you shaped and sexy under your wear. They are all over the US and available in the city and the suburbs. If you’re looking for a few trendy pieces it’s a great place to go. As you may know they also have a reasonably sized accessories section and you can find a few great flats too. If you haven’t perused the plus section at Target… what are you waiting for?

Macys:
I know Macys has been around forever and a day. They have really come up on their style selection but the pants and skirts are a little less to be desired. I suggest only shopping here for tops and dresses although you can find plenty of business casual bottoms. If you head on down to the accessories section you can find a few items as well but nothing specifically geared toward the luxuriously sexy plus woman.

Ashley Stewart:
The niche at Ashley Stewart is urban fashion. They have wear in bright and vibrant colors with lots of sexy flair. If you’re looking for trendy seasonal pieces with not as much shelf life this is a great place to shop. They also carry accessories that match their vibrant colors perfectly which really help with boosting your outfit to the next level. In addition to their colorful brand name collections you can also find seasonal collections from designers like Babyphat and Applebottom.


These last couple aren’t great on quality but they are luxuriously sexy and a bit trendy. In most cases the size chart runs a little smaller, so try it on! Sometimes you can find some great pieces…. You ever know!
Deb
Faith21 by Forever21

Have fun shopping!