Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Fat Rant of the Day: Lane Bryant is Bullshit.

Ample women of the world - Wake up!

Lane Bryant is bullshit. Their sizes are an inconsistent mind-boggling trap. Their pants never fit, unless of course, they're too big or too small. Unless of course, by "fit" they mean "ill-fit."

I used to think it was me. It had to be, right? It's my darn hips and these chunky ass thighs. Then I started to ask myself, "Why do the skirts fit?" "Why do the shirts fit?" And then I realized that they didn’t either! Their skirts, their smallest size skirts (14/16), are too large on me. Many, not all, but many of their smallest shirts (14/16) literally hang off my body. So, please explain to me how it is that their pants never fit me? Why must I paint them on and war with them just to get them up past my knees? However, I can't seem to wear their 18/20 leggings more than two times without them drooping at the waist and crotch because they are too large.

I admit to having lost a substantial amount of weight recently; however this sizing issue has always been part of my Lane Bryant shopping experience. As if the subpar quality of their overpriced, unoriginal revamped generic trends wasn't bad enough, Lane Bryant shoppers also have to consider the additional hassle of alterations? This is what compelled me to stop shopping at Lane Bryant altogether over a year ago. I'll still stop in every now and then to browse the clearance section, and I'm not surprised to see nothing has changed.

Ladies, their prices are robbing you blind. Macy's, Nordstrom, and Bloomingdales won't swindle you. Do some price comparisons before you jump at the next Real Woman Dollars scam. Do you really need a closet full of clothes every other plus size woman has? I have to ask myself what's really going on when I can't fit into a single pair of Lane Bryant jeans, yet I can walk into Bloomingdales and have my pick of size 16s and 18s. Perhaps it's the designers selling at Bloomingdales who are doing the vanity sizing? Perhaps indeed. But they fit. At Lane Bryant, it doesn't matter if I pick up a size 16 or a size 26 - They. Never. Fit.

I've seen women shopping at Lane Bryant who are smaller than I am. How can that be, when I wear tops from H&M, Urban Outfitters, GAP, LOFT, etc? I can go into Nordstrom and fit most of their mainstream Large tops? Please note that I wrote "Large." I did not write "XL" or "XXL."

I'm not here to say I'm small. I am not. I am very much full-figured and plus-size. Many more mainstream stores are making exceptions. Many of today's trends and designers are more versatile. Today's silhouettes are more forgiving. Still, Lane Bryant's sizes have been consistently inconsistent. At their best, they sacrifice fit for unflattering designs; all for the sake of a vast, inclusive customer base. At their worst, their sizing contradictions are leave customers in a state of confusion, frustration, and even shame.

Lane Bryant was a demagogue of plus size apparel. However, the fatshionista movement is only getting started. It’s time for us to surrender to the new sheriffs in town. Research online, shop, browse, try things on (!), compare prices, originality, quality, etc. I know many women who are still trapped serving yesteryear's apparel god, but trust me, there are far better options right under your noses.